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January, 2018:

Good support for party that people have no idea about

Opinion poll says Rajini’s unlaunched political outfit has a promising future

Chennai, Jan 17: There is good news for actor Rajnikanth’s party that he may or may not launch.

The party, as of now, whose ideology is virtually unknown, a party that nobody is sure how many seats it will contest, a party whose strategy on alliances is not known, a party that we basically have no idea of will win 33 seats in the Assembly polls if it were held now, according to an opinion poll that we in Crank’s News, with our commitment to irresponsible journalism and silly news, should have conducted but was actually carried out by a mainline news outlet.

Though Rajinikanth has announced that he is certain to enter politics, he has not spoken much of his party as such. The actor has said that his focus is not on local Corporation polls or the national Lok Sabha elections, but the Assembly polls, perhaps based on the shrewd political knowledge that they are nearly 4 years away, and heaven knows what all can happen in those 4 years.

Rajinikanth’s party is tipped to win 33 seats in the Assembly elections, which is remarkable considering the fact that his political opponents are no pushovers, and more importantly that there is no guarantee that Rajini’s party will contest that many seats.

The opinion poll was conducted across 77 Assembly segments in Tamil Nadu, and has been extrapolated to the 234 Assembly constituencies in the State. The results of the opinion poll can also be extrapolated to all the constituencies in, say, Kerala or Papua New Guinea. Because the science behind the opinion polls are extremely precise, as they are built on the well-known statistical dictum, “people are total suckers for numbers”.

According to the opinion poll, while Rajinikanth’s yet to be launched party will have a good run, another actor Kamal Haasan’s party, which is also still unlaunched, may not do well because people are not sure what to expect.

But forget about people not getting the idea of Kamal’s party, we are not sure whether Kamal himself has got it.

Kamal has announced that he is formally launching his party on February 21 from Ramanathapuram, which is a historical town in Tamil Nadu known for its historical droughts in summer. Ramanathapuram district is also the birthplace of Abdul Kalam, the “people’s President”, who is of course well-known for saying things that he has never said.

Kamal’s idea behind choosing Ramanathapuram is that it is a location he hails from, a place that is also culturally sacred for both Hindus and Muslims, which Kamal says, he despite being an atheist appreciates. And he still wonders why people don’t understand him.

Kamal has said that he will announce the name of his political party on Feb 21 and set out on a political tour of the State to understand the problems and issues facing the people of the State. One problem that he will understand first-hand for sure is that the State does not have good roads to undertake long political tours.

Getting back to the opinion poll, it says that 65% of the respondents felt that there was political vacuum in the State since the demise of former Chief Minister J Jayalalithaa, which is a good indication that the remaining 35% of the respondents were dead people. The point is you don’t need opinion polls to tell that there is political vacuum in the State. It is like saying that the Pacific ocean contains water.

The survey says the DMK and its alliance partners will win around 130 seats in the Assembly polls, overcoming the major handicap that the alliance group actually includes the Congress.

The Congress in other States is a party. here in Tamil Nadu, it is a full-blown comedy show. Recently, the former president of the State Congress Unit (TNCC) EVKS Elangovan was called naaravaayan (foul-mouthed). This derogatory expletive in Tamil was used by his arch political opponents in the TNCC itself. That DMK can still win 130 seats with such an ally means it can, sans Congress, will probably win 250 seats in the 234 Assemblies of TN.

Finally, the opinion poll does not speak of BJP’s chances in the State. That such an opinion poll, which has some of the most silly numbers, itself is silent on the prospects of the BJP explains the state of its affairs here. Even by extrapolation, which is sciences-peak for ‘making up’, cannot help BJP win even a single seat here.