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App to produce outrage-ready news articles

*Kenyan-born Urjit Patel to train Indian long and middle-distance runners’

Bengaluru, Aug 24: It had to happen.

With the market for outrage-triggering news reports and features reaching an all-time high, a Bengaluru-based startup has come up with an app that would reel out such stuff at the touch of a button.

Announcing the launch of the app, which is appropriately named ‘Appront‘ (a portmanteau mix of affront and app), CMD of DisApprovz Inc. Rakesh Vaidyanathan told Cranks News, “let us face it, people, by their very nature, forever feel a sense of disapproval for many things around them. Our company, as its name DisApprovz will make it clear, aims to creatively tap into this”.

“The reality is there is no more readership for actual news. So news outlets just make them up on the fly. The runner Jaisha report or the Ramya sedition issue or Google search for Sindhu caste are clear cases in point. If they had been reported adhering to facts, we will not be discussing them here,” Vaidyanathan said.

Vaidyanathan, who is from IIM-B, and has had stints with a couple of Seattle-based firms, said “but our market research shows that as of now any person who is outrage-ready has to wait for outrage-triggering news, which may come the next hour or over the weekend. The delay is always agonising“.

“When you are fully aroused and all ready to outrage but find nothing worthy of it, there is a sense of, to use a technical term here, KLPD. In the event, many people end up outraging over trivial news items. Obviously, there is a mismatch between demand and supply. Ergo, Appront

Vaidyanathan said “once a user downloads ‘Appront‘, he or she is assured of, as is the case with all apps, getting spam messages from us at all times.”¬† ‘Appront‘, he added, has an algorithm-based database, capable of producing protest-inducing reports depending on the events or developments of the occasion.

Pointing out that that the aim of news reports churned out by ‘Appront‘ was to create a sense of indignation and there would be very little, or absolutely nothing, by way of actual facts, Vaidyanathan said “in that sense, we are up against bigger and established rivals like the NDTV. But, as they say, the market is big enough to accommodate all of us”.

If reports are manufactured, how different would they be from spoof news pieces that are now dime-a-dozen? Vaidyanathan said they were not in direct competition with satire stuff that aim for laughs. “We target the unfunny bone in every human. We want controversy that boil into a rage and then explode into an outrage”.

“Let us see how humour sites create stuff and how ‘Appront‘ will deliver the same news with a practical example,” Vaidyanathan said and gave this:

Spoof Story

Kenyan-born Urjit Patel to train Indian runners

Stung by the poor show of Indian athletes at the Rio Olympics, the Central government today swung into action by asking the Kenyan-born RBI Governor, Urjit Patel to train Indian middle-distance and long-distance runners.

This decision is based on the fact that Kenya is the world leader in long and middle-distance running. And Urjit Patel, who was born there, also has exposure to India. ‘He is the guy who can give us the best of both the worlds,’ a highly-placed source privy to the developments said.

Urjit Patel may not have had any exposure to athletics, but even with experience and training in economics, there is little possibility of him turning around Indian economy. “The point is economics, like a teenaged son, is forever creating trouble. But athletics, like a girl child, needs all our help,” the source said and added that Urjit Patel’s appointment has been okayed by the PMO and now only a formal stamp of approval is needed which will come in the form of Vijay Goel congratulating Hardik Patel.

Appront‘ Story

Modi’s Made-In-India not on track: Kenyan-born in charge of athletics

All the vaunted talk of Make-In-India by the Modi government seems to be just that: A Talk. Today, the government  made moves to appoint the Kenyan-born Urjit Patel, who was nominated as the RBI Governor last week, as the head coach of Indian middle and long distance running programme.

Patel, who is a Kenyan-born Gujarati, is being instated as the athletics coach as Kenya is now an established power in the field of running. But the talk in the North Block is that Urjit may have been given the post more for his Gujarati surname that Modi is inevitably partial to.

While Urjit Patel’s appointment has been easy, New Delhi’s corridors of power recall how when BCCI’s president post fell vacant after N Srinivasan’s exit, the logical move to elevate a fellow Tamil Raghuram Rajan to that post was nixed by certain vested interests close to the BJP top brass.

“Now you see the difference for yourself. This is the true power of ‘Appront‘. This is now available to you on your mobile,” Vaidyanathan said.

Asked whether ‘Appront‘ is hitting the market when app-based startups are feeling the heat, Vaidyanathan said ‘the doomsday-writers can say whatever they want. But what history shows us is that economies are inherently resilient and always have a firm place for companies that should not have been conceived at all in the first place”.