Crank News: Review of Endhiran movie leaked on the internet

By Our Film Correspondent and Headmaster

Kodambakkam: In a sensational development that has come as a major setback to the cast and crew of the under-production Endhiran, the film’s full-fledged review has been leaked on the internet.

This is the fourth major leak concerning the film, which is in the making for now over 18 months, roughly 16 of which has been spent travelling by the cast and crew.

Earlier, this month, the blank white paper on which the film’s posters were set to be printed sensationally made it to the world wide web. Many blogs and independent news sites went to town featuring the blank white paper in brilliant colours (see photo), dealing a major blow to the Endhiran unit that was canning a dream sequence (which will feature only in the promotional photo stills of the movie) at Reykjavik (Iceland)

As if this development wasn’t enough, just a fortnight ago, in another setback to the Endhiran team, which was shooting in El Salvador at that time, the CDs on which the movie’s songs were to be recorded surreptitiously made it to the internet again.

Those responsible for the disturbing leaks basked under the unholy fame as the blank CDs on which the songs were to be recorded proved to be a major hit among the fans of Rajnikanth and A R Rahman.

If anything, the blank CDs have had more takers than for the songs that were released officially a few days ago in Malaysia. But film hands say that since Rahman’s music takes time to grow on you, the verdict on the film’s songs have to wait. In all likelihood the fate of Endhiran’s songs will be known by 2050 (“Ella Pughazhum Calendarukke”).

And just last week, in one more blow to the team, another leak happened. But this didn’t quite make it to the internet due to the fact that the leak pertained to a sewer line at the toilet of the hotel where the production unit was staying in Constantinople (Shankar had hired a time machine to travel to this place).

Anyway, reeling under such relentless leaks, the Endhiran team seems to be aghast over the scooped up review of the film. According to sources close to Shankar’s close sources, the well-known director has, however, chosen to remain quiet. But industry hands indicated that it’s quite possible that Shankar’s reaction to the leaks on his film may soon be leaked on the internet.

Shankar, an intensely private man, is ultra-secretive about his movies and doesn’t like any of the details spilling out. It may be recalled that the story of his last movie Sivaji, despite it being released three years ago, still remains unrevealed to anyone.

Rajnikanth, the film’s hero, was also not available for comment, triggering speculation among the usually speculative sections in Tamilnadu that the ‘Superstar’ might be contemplating to take a plunge into politics. Cho Ramaswami, the ace political commentator, said he was not sure whether Rajni was sure of being a sure success in politics, which in itself is not so sure in Tamilnadu.  Endhiran, it is also said, has many innocuous dialogues that will be deemed politically sensitive by the the public in Tamil Nadu, because they are not sensitive to anything else.

Endhiran features Rajnikanth in a dual role, including one as the eponymous Robot and the other as a scientist, so that there is no need for separate comedy sequences as the audiences will be already in splits hearing Rajni mouthing, in English, quaint scientific terms. Aishwarya Rai plays a weighty role, in that her make-up and costumes weigh around 133.3 kilos.

In a related development, the Tamilnadu Nadigar Sangam, the apex body of actors and actresses in Kollywood, went into an emergency meeting to eat samosas and biscuits and if possible discuss the latest developments.

Emerging out of the meeting, actor Sarath Kumar who heads the association, said that there was a huge demand from the honchos of the Tamil film industry to totally ban the internet and computers.

But Sarath said the solution to the whole problem could be to make movies that would not interest anyone on the internet. Sarath should know what he was speaking, because he had endured the mortification of seeing an entire film of his being totally leaked on the internet. And officially, let the record show, there was not even a single download of it.

Meanwhile, there is considerable debate over the actual contents of the review. ‘Paisa Vasool,’ said the review, scooped out of a popular film and general news site (it rhymes with ‘iffy’). The review, which runs to around 800 words, gives in detail many adjectives praising Rajnikanth. The reviewer also astutely points out that the second half is lengthy and needs trimming. ‘Mass Entertainer’ is the reviewer’s brilliant verdict.

Elsewhere, the news site, from which the leak has happened, played down the developments and said it was not to blame. It, however, confirmed that the leaked review of Endhiran was indeed one filed by its official film critic

Asked how a still-under-production movie could be reviewed, the spokesperson of the news site pointed that this was the specialty of its famed film critic, who files his reviews minutes after the movie’s muhurat is announced.

The spokesperson also said the review of Kamal Haasan’s Manmadhan Ambu is also ready (for anyone interested in leaking it). For the record, the review reads: ‘Made for Kamal fans’.

(Disclaimer: News appearing in this column are extremely distorted for what we believe as humour. If you find it funny, it’s fine by us. If you find it offensive, it’s still fine by us. Oops, we meant, sorry.)