Complaint against Madhavan for not committing crime

Producers of Jodi Breakers seek cops’ intervention

Mumbai: In an inevitable development, the producers of Jodi Breakers have lodged a police complaint against the hero of the film Madhavan for ‘failing to commit the mandatory crime’ ahead of the film’s release this Friday.

‘It’s absolutely irresponsible on the part of Madhavan to have remained law-abiding despite knowing that Jodi Breakers is hitting the theatres this week,’ the producers, Prasar Visions Pvt Ltd, said in their complaint filed at the Colaba Police Station here today.

The producers said that Madhavan had strangely confined himself to making the mandatory appearances at TV channels, answering questions that did not contain even a molecule of intelligence. ‘But the need of the hour was an attention-grabbing crime. The least he could have done was to snort cocaine or drive his SUV at extreme speeds’.

The producers said that Madhavan did have some white powder with him when they booked him for the film. ‘We were hopeful that it would be some kind of narcotics. But it turned out to be the remains of something called Nama Katti. But this is the problem when you employ curd rice-guzzling thambis from the South’, the Producers cattily said.

‘Look at Saif Ali Khan. See how committed he is to his starrer Agent Vinod. The film is set for release only in March. But already he has gone ahead and committed a sturdy crime that will stand the film in good stead when it releases,’ the producers pointed out.

Stating that it was a gross dereliction of duty from Madhavan in not being adequately irresponsible, the producers said ‘we have no other go but to take upon ourselves the task of creating a controversy, which we have done by slapping a case against him for not creating a controversy’.

The producers of Jodi Breakers also conceded that the complaint against Madhavan just a day before the film’s release might seem very delayed. ‘In the circumstance that we were in we could not have done anything better. The other hope was Bipasha Basu. But our problem was what is big crime for the women in outside world is not exactly one with Bollywood actresses, if you get our drift.’

Meanwhile, the man at the centre of all the controversy, Madhavan, whom the police are looking for all around the city, told newsmen at his home that the producers of Jodi Breakers had no right to demand any more crime from him. ‘If you see the film, you will understand what I am trying to convey,’ he added.

Madhavan conceded that having acted with Aamir Khan in Hindi and Kamal Haasan in Tamil, he always left the job of creating controversies to the seniors. ‘I still admire the way that Aamir brought all the headlines for Three Idiots. He got the film rights for a Chetan Bhagat book knowing full well that even a telephone directory would have a better story value. When the film was released Chetan Bhagat was naturally piqued that the movie had totally strayed away from the original by having an interesting storyline.’

‘On the other hand, the controversies of Kamal Sir’, Madhavan said, ‘were often controversial themselves’. A song in Manmadhan Ambu was deleted under pressure at the last moment. ‘Naturally eyebrows were raised over the fact that somebody actually understood some meaning in a song written by Kamal to actually feel offended,’ Madhavan recalled.

‘The case of Anbe Sivam was something else. With Sundar C as the director the audience were hoping for a crass and clueless commercial masala. But Anbe Sivam turned out to a sensitive and sensible reflection on human relationships. ‘The audience were disappointed and a controversy broke out whether Sundar C would lose his undoubted touch for totally moronic movies. Luckily he hasn’t as his subsequent releases like Rendu show’.

Madhavan said that he would give himself to the police at the appropriate time when all the TV crew land up with their cameras and mikes at the police station. ‘The visuals have to be dramatic. Otherwise all the efforts of the producers of the film would go waste,’ Madhavan said matter of factly.

Bipasha Basu, the film’s leading lady, for her part, said that it was fortunate that a controversy has broken around the time when the film is about to release. ‘In this dire hour, we must make the most out of this,’ she said amidst giggles as she blew kisses to the TV viewers.

(Disclaimer: They can as well convert this ‘crimes ahead of film releases’ into a TV reality show. It will serve many purposes. Think it over)