Crank’s News: ‘ThalaRockZzzz’ gets into Oxford dictionary

‘A magically powerful word that ends all discussions on the internet’

London/Chennai:  In an unsurprising development, the publishers of the omnibus Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary (OALD) have included the word ThalaRockZzzz in their latest edition, describing it as ‘the most used, the most potent and the most evocative of terms used in discussions on the internet’.

Giving the background of the development, Judith Verbix, Publication Manager of Oxford English Dictionaries, said: “Whichever site we went to, whichever discussion we read, there was a near common thread to them, in that when the exchanges reached a fever pitch, when the views became highly nuanced, usually an Indian would step up and bring the arguments to a cerebral conclusion with this clincher: ThalaRockZzzz.”

Initially we didn’t comprehend the meaning of the term, she said. “But there is no denying the fact that there is an oracular finality to it. We also found that anyone attempting a rebuff or a repartee is just mercilessly hounded out. Eventually it has now come to a situation where discussions grind to a halt when the magic term ThalaRockZzzz is thrown up.”.

“Be it a flippant subject like Obama’s employment generation scheme or a serious one like whether Ravindra Jadeja is the new Garfield Sobers, the final word is had by ThalaRockZzzz. It’s then the truth hit us that the figurative ‘final word’ that we all had so far notionally used had indeed been replaced by ThalaRockZzzz”.

“The Oxford Dictionary deems it a breakthrough word. A word which gives precise shape to a hitherto vague and vacuous idiom,” Verbix pointed out excitedly. “English language will be richer for its inclusion. Indeed, this seems to be the ultimate star word,” she added, without realising that she was further unwittingly perpetuating a cult.

Verbix gave a typical example from one of the news sites that had debated about the sensitive subject of death penalty. And this is what she said she saw in the comments section.

Commenter 1: To continue have capital punishment in the statute books is an affront to civilised living. Fascist right-wingers are winning the day. Very sad.

Commenter 2: You moron, STFU. Learn from America. Lolz!

Commenter 3:  The Central government will hang only Tamilians. Why the silence on Afzal Guru?

Commenter 4: Arre Madrasi chup kar! Jai Mata Di!

Commenter 5: Is the author of the piece a RSS sympathizer? Dude, your khakhi shorts show. Go back to your shakha.

Commenter 6:!!!!!!??????? For loans from ICICI bank click this link:

Commenter 7: ThalaRockZzzz!

Commenter 8:  ThalaRockZzzz!!!!!!!!

….Commenter 179: Can any one hear (sic) confirm the next movie of Thala!!!! A friend in Kollywood says Rajni is keen to do a movie with Thala!!!!!!

….Commenter 273: Mankatha Da.  ThalaRockZzzz!

“Two things stand out in these dialogues. One, it’s wrong to think that there cannot be a consensus on the issue of death penalty. Two, and the consensus clearly is ThalaRockZzzz,” Verbix explained.

After this the Oxford Dictionary has no other option but to include the word in its forthcoming editions

ThalaRockZzzz: (n) (v) (Adv) (Also Adj) A word that can be used in any situation and in any sentence without in any manner adding even a single molecule of meaning to it. 

Usage: Random.

Pronunciation: Even more random

Spelling: Negotiable

Synonym: Ilayathalapathy Sucks.

Asked about the etymology of the word, Verbix said: “We were told that Thala is the nickname of the Tamil film actor Ajith. To check out his credentials we went and viewed his latest Tamil movie, Mankatha. Watching the movie we realised that Tamil which is generally a difficult language to comprehend is totally impossible to understand by the way Ajith delivers the dialogues.”

Verbix added: “After the movie we asked the fans of the actor why do they think ThalaRockZzzz, and they said ThalaRockZzzz because ThalaRockZzzz. After this (Christopher) Nolanesque response we realised that whether we included this word in the dictionary or not, it will one day find its way into it on its own.”

Verbix also clarified that they had no intention of including more Indianisms like  SalluShines or AkkiAmazes. “What do you think we are, Rediff notice board or what?” she said sharply.

When reached for his reaction on the coveted honour, actor Ajith cryptically said: ‘Adhu”, leaving the Oxford Dictionary publishers perplexed whether they should include this word too in their forthcoming edition.

(Disclaimer: ThalaRockZzzzz)