IIM offers new course in Resignation Management

Ahmedabad: The Indian Institute of Management (Ahmedabad), the country’s premier consumer of engineers, has introduced a new management programme, which it believes will ‘inspire some blue sky thinking in the praxis of corporate and political governance.’

‘The new course we are introducing is on Resignation Management,’ the Director of IIM-A told a press conference here today.

‘The time for resignation as a management programme has well and truly arrived. For, a resignation is not a mere resignation these days. It has come to be a carefully-conceived strategic move to safeguard an individual’s importance in any hierarchy, which as you would know, is also at the core of every management programme,’ the director explained.

‘The whole idea of resignation has undergone, to use a layman’s term, a paradigm shift,’ the IIM head honcho said and added ‘these days people are resigning from their posts because it allows them to hold on to the same post. The whole thing has become very nuanced. We firmly believe Resignation Management to be a sunrise sector, and we at the IIM hope to tap it through our undoubted expertise for infusing more jargon into it ’

Explaining the rationale behind the thought that gave birth to this pioneering management programme, the IIM head said what history tells us is the world hardly has any time for people who resign quietly, holding themselves morally responsible for any mistake in their department or organization. ‘Nobody, I mean, no normal person remembers the former Union Railway Minister who quit his post owning moral authority for a train accident. The point is winners don’t quit, only some smokers do’.

‘But posterity will not have difficulty in recalling the name of N Srinivasan, the former and future BCCI chief, who tackled the demands for his resignation from his post with an unflinching and brave show of irresponsibility. In him, we see someone who can be a true icon for future corporate leaders,’ the director said.

But the IIM director conceded that Srinivasan himself might have been inspired by that acclaimed management guru, Lalu Prasad Yadav, who, when faced with demands for his resignation as the Bihar Chief Minister, made the most honest and logical thing to do in the circumstance: He made his wife, who wasn’t even an MLA, the Chief Minister. ‘It was a top-notch strategy that would have made proud any chess Grandmaster. When the King is cornered, he attacks back by moving his Queen. Kasparov or Fischer would have surely approved that’.

Yet, the real raja of resignation has to be, the director pointed out, L K Advani. His is a classic case study that has already launched thousand powerpoint slides. ‘Advani has showed that resignation, like a good cover drive in cricket, is all about getting the timing right.’

‘Advani offered his resignation when nobody was even asking for it. Corporate world has not seen such aggressive ambush marketing before,’ the IIM director said and added ‘the immediate upshot was there was a huge clamour for Advani to stay put in the post. People were making a beeline to his house. His phone lines were jammed with plaintive pleas for him to take back his resignation. This is amazing when you consider the fact that the bulk of the population doesn’t even know what position he held in the first place for him to quit in such an unseemly huff’.

‘If someone like Naryanamurthy had understood this trick, he need not have waited for a few years to make his comeback. He could have joined his company the next day itself with a consolidated C to C package of Rs.12’.

The IIM director revealed that Advani and Lalu would indeed be guest professors in the new management programme, which was open for enrolment from politicos too. ‘We are happy that resignation management cuts across boundaries to have a universal appeal. Now our jargon will become even more insufferable as it will be available to more people’.

In two years time, the IIM Director said, the success of resignation management would be felt and people would be using derequisition instead of resignation in everyday language.

(Disclaimer: IIPM, in a quick and smart move, offered to provide free laptops to, all those who enroll into their course? No, to all who resign from IIM)