Soundu party!

Gnnnnnnnnn Hrrrrrrrrrr, Jklfgdhhutor Teqzxvbnm, Gfropss,” he said.

Snnnnnnnn Mgggggggg Kyyyyyy on Bgiofrtsl,” I replied enthusiastically.

The conversation continued in this vein for the better part of two hours last night, where neither of us could hear what the other was saying. Heck, I couldn’t hear what I was saying. Heck, I could not see the person in front of me. The surrounding was not just loud. It was LOUD enough to impact the visibility.

The guy I was trying to converse with probably was expressing his sympathies for what happened to La La Land at the Oscars. And I perhaps answered back that I don’t follow Virender Sehwag on Twitter. But both of us did not mind even a bit that we were talking totally in Esperanto that we ourselves couldn’t understand. Because we were at a Sangeeth-Mehendi, function, which is where they play party music strident enough to trigger tsunami attacks in distant pacific islands. But we lapped it all in the name of fun. A Sangeeth-Mehendi event is basically the Arnab Goswami show in wedding-related functions, as nobody hears anything over the noisy non-stop drone. But everyone generally passes off the night thinking it is fun.

But before I say anything that will be taken as a snooty criticism of the Wedding Inc, the ever-expanding industrial estate that currently accounts for 43% of Indian economy (by the time you finish reading this it will be 44%), I love wedding parties, music, dance, good food and the three to four weeks of complete bed rest that I need to recover from it all.

Just when there was this general feeling that there is too much pressure organising wedding events and they are also getting too costly and wasteful, they have come up with something — this is the beauty of self-correcting systems — that is way more stressful and costly. Just imagine organising a full-fledged party a day or two before a wedding and hope to be in good shape for the wedding. It is a bit like preparing for the World War by going to a Justin Bieber concert.

Sangeeth-Mehendi functions are these days getting popular in these parts as we South Indians are out to prove a point to the Northies that we too know how to party and, in the process, make a bigger silly clown of ourselves.

At any rate, that is what I made myself of by trying to dance at the Sangeeth function I was at. But in my defence, as I said, the music was so LOUD that I couldn’t even hear my mind telling me not to step on the dance floor. Among girls and boys, all mostly in my daughter’s age, I, a pot-bellied oldie, gyrated with gay abandon as the DJ kept playing one raucous number after another. And people of my age think the younger generation is irresponsible!

The DJ, by the way, is the second most important person of the Sangeeth event. The first one, of course, is the guy who plies the small-eats during the event. The bride and groom are way low down the list.

Why do we need DJs when a good music system would be just enough? Good point. But when you are planning wedding celebrations what happens is — you should jot this down in some handy notebook — you generally stop thinking and refrain from asking logical questions.

Getting back to DJ, a good DJ can enliven the event as he is its soul. A DJ has to have many abilities, one of them is the skill of Pele. No, the DJ doesn’t have to turn up for the Brazilian national football team and win the World Cup. He has to have the other great talent that Pele doubtless possessed. The ability to conjure the name ‘Pele’ out of: Edson Arantes de Nascimento. Every DJ I know of has a short, crispy industry name, like Mike, Ash, Jijo and Cheeks, that is so different from their original names. I recently ran into a DJ who was (nick)named — true story this — Pigs. The name in his birth certificate is Suresh Kumar Chabria.

So, to give you a practical example, if a person is named Sivarama Ganapathy Subrmanaian, he has to, you are right, forget DJing. That is a wrong example. Nobody with that name ever gets to make it as a DJ.

The DJ at the event I was in was a young lad named Syed (probably spelled Syd). He was cool yet enthusiastic and played all the right songs and made the function awesome. Perhaps I should call up and congratulate him on his good show last night. I think will ring him up next month, by which time I, hopefully, should have got my hearing back.