Ideally speaking, there is no need for a separate humour piece this week, as I can just tag what transpired in the court in the IPL case here and sit back and relax. For, no writing can match the thigh-slapping comedy that played itself out in the court over the last few days. The Supreme Court, not satisfied with the working of N Srinivasan as the BCCI president, has ordered that the day-to-day running of the cricket board be handed over to a senior administrator, and adroitly left the choice — this is why judiciary is held as one of the pillars of democracy —to the BCCI (so far) run by Srinivasan. Now the job has gone to Shivlal Yadav, a competent off-spinner in his playing days, who after that had risen to the level of vice-president of the BCCI by the sheer dint of being a complete Srinivasan lackey.
The Supreme Court has also made Sunil Gavaskar the interim chief of the BCCI with regard to the conduct of the IPL, whose schedule and venues and every other aspect have already been finalized. So, now thanks to the Supreme Court orders, Gavasakar looks fully empowered to ring in far-reaching changes, if need be, in the contract to samosa seller at the stadium.
Oh OK, before I forget, the Supreme Court has also ordered one important thing: It has asked the BCCI to compensate Gavaskar adequately for his role as the BCCI interim chief and also for him having to give up his ongoing commentary stint, for which he is —- wait for this — already being paid by the BCCI under a contract.
Let us try this a bit differently so that we get a better understanding of things: BCCI has to pay Gavaskar 1) Remuneration for the new post in the BCCI 2) Compensation for the remuneration he was getting in his old role in the BCCI.
As I understand this — stop me if I am wrong here — if you are made the Chief Manager from Deputy Manager of your company you can now possibly demand salary due for the Chief Manager and the Deputy Manager. (If your company protests, tell it that it is now deemed as legally settled —- dense lawyer prose ahead and normal human being-speak will resume in the next paragraph— that by making you the Chief Manager the company was unduly preventing you from being the Deputy Manager and depriving you of your due rights, including pecuniary ones, and as such rightful recompense is statutory. In the face of such logic, not to speak of language, most people tend to fall in line).
The point is, as I said at the start, with the BCCI and the court there will always be stuff that will strain our credulity. Basically we should be ready for anything. And so, don’t be surprised if you see something like this in the newspapers in the coming days:
BCCI to shift base to Cayman Islands
Chennai: When the going gets tough, the tough, as the adage has it, go to Cayman Islands.
So it will be with the BCCI.
Stung by the repeated interferences in its affairs, the BCCI today formally decided to shift to a place where irritating extraneous forces, like the country’s law and the courts, have no reach. The BCCI, it is reliably learnt, will from now on be headquartered at Cayman Islands, where, it is equally reliably learnt, the Indian Supreme Court’s writ does not run.
Following this decision, N Srinivasan, who had to step aside as the BCCI chief, will now be back as its full-time president and Shivlal Yadav, who was running its affairs as an interim chief, will take his rightful place as the vice president in charge of posing for pictures at official functions.
Sources in the BCCI said there was nothing unduly wrong in having its headquarters in Cayman Islands. ‘If companies can have their base in Cayman Islands to avoid pesky taxes, why can’t we, as an autonomous body, have our headquarters there to avoid peskier laws?’ asked a highly-placed source.
But when this reporter incredulously asked how can the Indian cricket board be run from Cayman Islands, the BCCI source shot back, ‘when a tournament that is going to be mostly run in the UAE and whose major attractions are players from Australia, West Indies and South Africa is being called the Indian Premier League, I think, when you come down to it, the shift to Cayman Islands actually sounds a lot logical’.
The BCCI source also made it clear that if the courts and Indian laws still had any issue with N Srinivasan he was ready to step aside and come back with a new name.
‘If Srinivasan is the problem, he is even ready to have name change. If need be, he wouldn’t mind even having the name Suhel Seth,’ the BCCI source said and added ‘that would seem a silly change. But look at the positive side, you would never have to comb your hair.’